


doctors shouldn't have group chats...

by ImperfectlyFlawed



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crack, Cristina stays, Derek's alive, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Group chat, Lexie and Mark are alive, M/M, Plane crash still happened they just survied, Sexual Jokes, chat fic, friendships, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14267754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectlyFlawed/pseuds/ImperfectlyFlawed
Summary: Join our favorite doctors as they navigate through life in a group chat.





	1. SGMW

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently became obsessed with Grey's Anatomy and currently on season 11, I wanted to see a fun side of these characters without the grusome death and sadness so I'm making a group chat fic. If you're new to the fandom and don't want to get spoiled I suggest not reading this. I'm sure you guys can tell who's who :)

 

 

> **J.Avery** added **A.Kepner, TheOgChief, McDreamy, McSteamy, Medusa, CardioGod, littlegrey, tinyhumanhero, OrthoGoddess, drevilspawn, TheNazi** and **G.I Joe**  to **_Sea_ _ttle_ _Grace Mercy West Hospital._**

**J.Avery:** These are the professional names you guys chose?

 **tinyhumanhero:** uh my name is very professional and it lets people know what i do for a living

 **tinyhumanhero:** plus its cute

 **A.Kepner:** it really is :)

 **OrthoGoddess:** And they show that we're good at our jobs. Hence the name.

 **J.Avery:** Because McDreamy, McSteamy, TheNazi, Medusa, G.I Joe, littlegrey, drevilspawn and for some odd reason TheOgChief are professional

 **drevilspawn:** dude live a little. your always a buzz kill

 **A.Kepner:** I had a very funny/cute name but Jackson said they had to be professional

 **CardioGod:** Oh please, there's nothing professional about a group chat.

 **TheOgChief:** She's right. In all my days of running that hospital i've never heard of a group chat

 **McDreamy:** That's because its been 20 years since you ran the hospital.. times have changed

 **TheOgChief:** Shut it Shepherd.

 **OrthoGoddess:** He does have a point.

 **Medusa:** I'm confused, is this a work thing or can we use it whenever

 **J.Avery:** It's for work use only. Keep all conversations that don't involve work out of this chat.

 **TheNazi:** Puhlease, you guys don't know how to differentiate your work lives from your personal lives

 **OrthoGoddess:** what about Ben?

 **McDreamy:** Yeah, You judge us for being in a relationship with our colleagues but you're married to ben

 **J.Avery:** -_-

 **TheNazi:** I wasn't sleeping with interns

 **McDreamy:**  touché

 **McSteamy:** Ouch...

 **drevilspawn:** im not ashamed

 **littlegrey:** ...

 **A.Kepner:** I guess being virgin mary had its perks ha

 **J.Avery:** what did I just say april...

 **A.Kepner:** sorry..  
  
**Medusa:** but you married a resident, Bailey, just like Derek and I and Cristina and Owen

 **CardioGod:** and you see how that turned out

 **G.I**   **Joe:** Hey??

 **CardioGod:** what? we're divorced

 **G.I**   **Joe:** that's not my fault

 **CardioGod:** Technically it is...

 **TheNazi:** not that it's any of you alls business but Ben and I have a strictly professional relationship at work

 **drevilspawn:** whatever you say BCB

 **TheNazi:** Watch it Karev.

 **J.Avery:** Not even 5 minutes in and we're talking about Bailey's sex life at work uh wow

 **TheNazi:** Dr. Avery I would appreciate if you refrained from using the words "Bailey's sex life" ever.

 **J.Avery:** No problem. I just hope I never have to hear about it again

 **J.Avery:** so if any of you need a consult or help with anything you can use this chat

 **tinyhumanhero:** couldn't we just use our pagers?

 **J.Avery:** Yes but my mom want us to be a more social hospital.. she wants us to make Twitter accounts..

 **G.I**   **Joe:** the hospital already has a twitter account though

 **J.Avery:** yeah but she wants us to make personals accounts

 **CardioGod:** twitter?

 **Medusa:** accounts?

 **OrthoGoddess:** Oh My God

 **OrthoGoddess:** The Avery's are ruining the hospital

 **TheNazi:** I told y'all..

 **J.Avery:** if you guys have a problem with it talk with my mom because without her there wouldn't be a hospital

 **TheOgChief:** oh I will in more ways than one

 **McSteamy:** Oh boy ;)

 **J.Avery:** Webber can you please not

 **OrthoGoddess:** you mean step-dad, lol

 **TheOgChief:** what?

 **J.Avery:** sigh

 

 

> **_Minutes later_ **

**McSteamy:** Oh Derek, Sofia wanted to have a play date with Zola this weekend since Callie and Arizona wanted some "girl time"

 **McDreamy:** definitely. I was going to have her myself anyway since mer was having girls night with Cristina and lexie

 **McSteamy:** girl's night, huh?

 **Medusa:** you're a pig

 **littlegrey:** mer and I are sisters

 **CardioGod:** gross

 **McSteamy:** I was just going to say it sounds fun sheesh...

 **J.Avery:** this was a disaster....


	2. scrub in with me ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated in a very very VERY long time but I seen all you guys' nice comments and I really wanted to update. I finished Grey's a minute ago and I am now waiting for January 17th(?) For the show to come back out. I'm so excited to see where Nico and glasses' relationship goes.
> 
> I really enjoyed this chapter, so I hope you all like it

**OrthoGoddess:** I need someone to scrub in with me on a brachial plexus surgery

 **littlegrey:** I can scrub in

 **J.Avery:** that's what the interns are for, torres...

 **OrthoGoddess:** like I'll risk some dumb interns almost killing my patient.

 **littlegrey:** I'm on Dr Shepherd's service today but he doesn't have a surgeries scheduled today

 **J.Avery:** that's how interns are supposed to learn, torres.

 **littlegrey:** -_-

 **CardioGod:** I'm with Callie, do you know how many patients almost died during my intern year?

 **CardioGod:** not cause of me of course.

 **Medsusa:** oh please

 **OrthoGoddess:** so you'll scrub in yang?

 **CardioGod:** Nah, I have a arotic dissection in a couple hours

 **OrthoGoddess:** -_- thanks alot yang

 **littlegrey:** im not doing anything I can scrub in

 **J.Avery:** page the interns torres

 **OrthoGoddess:** Avery, this is one of my favorite paitents and I will not put her life in the hands of some intern

 **littlegrey:** guys I really need more OR time. :(

 **TheMachine:** I actually don't have any surgeries Torres so I can scrub in.

 **OrthoGoddess:** THANK YOU

 **OrthoGoddess:** The patients name is Debbie Carson and she's in room 273. We'll be in OR 2 right after Karev and Arizona finish their surgery.

 **TheMachine:** Okay, great. I'll read up on her chart and get her prepped for surgery

 **OrthoGoddess:** thank you again, you're a left saver.

> **OrthoGoddness** left the chat.

**Medusa:** who's "themachine"??

 **J.Avery:** April, she's supposed have interns scrub in with her! This is a teaching hospital. You can't chose you who you decide to teach to.

 **CardioGod:** wait lmao april calls herself the machine?!?!?

 **Medusa:** lol

 **TheMachine:** actually a few other people call me the machine ..

 **CardioGod:** like who???

 **CardioGod:** I know nobody in this hospital calls you "TheMachine" lmaoooo

 **J.Avery:** ... I call her "the machine"

 **CardioGod:** that's even funnier hahahahahah

 **Medusa:** leave her alone cristina lol

 **TheMachine:** screw you Cristina!!!!

> **TheMachine** left the chat.

**littlegrey:** WHAT THE HELL

 **CardioGod:** woah little grey language

 **J.Avery:** that was very uncalled for

 **littlegrey:** oh now you guys see my messages

 **Medusa:** what do you mean?

 **littlegrey:** I've been trying to get Torres to let me scrub in on her surgery but you all kept ignoring me and then suddenly KEPNER of all people swoops in and take my freaking surgery

 **CardioGod:** Callie really chose KEPNER over you hahahahahah

 **J.Avery:** she's not a bad surgeon

 **CardioGod:** of course you would say that

 **littlegrey:** I really need more OR hours :(

 **Medusa:** I would have you scrub in on my colectomy but I have Edwards on my service :)

 **littlegrey:** are you serious Meredith??

 **littlegrey:** what are sisters for if not to get free surgeries?!?!

 **Medusa:** I gotta go. I have a surgery to prep for :)

> **Medusa** left the chat.

**CardioGod:** oh god the people in this hospital are hilarious

 **J.Avery:** that they are...

 **littlegrey:** oh screw both of you

> **littlegrey** left the chat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a problem with April, this is just Cristina being Cristina.


End file.
